did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.