he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
