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i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
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