All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend