the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.