Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
