He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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