i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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