Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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