Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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