Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
