Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
