It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
