My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
