We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
