he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
