i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
