dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
