I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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