Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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