Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
operation harelip BJ is a go
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
