absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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