is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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