ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
