You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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