im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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