I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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