Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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