do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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