yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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