sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
