look no pants
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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