I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
