long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
