i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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