I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
