Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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