OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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