Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
