we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
