If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
