we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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