FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Im just a social blackout drinker.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
