I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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