I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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