just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
