Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
God, I missed his penis.
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