All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He felt like a one man threesome
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
