I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
