I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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