He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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