just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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