He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
