I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
