Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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