Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize