He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
