I must be too annoying 4 u.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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