Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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