glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
