Whod you bang
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
