Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
