i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
