Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
