You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
