Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My balls are so social today.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
