The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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